Self Help

Words of Wisdom from a nine year old last weekend in the car as my wife and I discussed our home improvement work schedule for the remainder of the weekend (over the past month we’ve repainted new color schemes in two rooms and sanded/refinished the hardwood floor and are adding new baseboard and ceiling trim to one of those rooms): “How to Get Things Done by Daddy: Step One – Make your wife do it all; Step Two – Turn on the TV and take a nap.”

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Barn House

Words of Wisdom from a nine year old gazing off in the distance out the window while riding in the car last night: “Wow that’s a really big house!” (Daddy’s response – “It’s not a house, it is a garage or a barn.”) and her reply: “Well that explains the barn doors.”

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St. Luke

Words of Wisdom from a nine year old overheard while Mommy was blow-drying her hair in the bathroom this evening: “Was grandpa [also known by the nickname Luke given to him by a boyhood friend] named after St. Luke?”

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Plain City

Words of Wisdom from a nine year old last Friday inside a McDonalds in Plain City, Ohio in response to eyeglass-less Mommy questioning whether she saw birds or a plane up in the sky: “It’s a plane.  It says right over there [gesturing to a street sign] it’s Plain City.”

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Nine or Ten?

Words of Wisdom from a nine year old who responded “NO” when asked on her birthday if she felt any different.  She was then asked if it was going to be TEN years old when she will feel different: “I don’t know, I haven’t been there yet?”

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Bar Misfit

Words of Wisdom from an eight year old when asked where she got a package of rainbow markers she was playing with: “From that one lady… I think it was a bar mitzvah? … No it was the lady of the year thing.” (Apparently her grasp of the Jewish culture and language plateaued at age 3).

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Grandma Touche

Words of Wisdom from an 8 year old last night while bragging about her recent Cedar Point roller coaster conquests, immediately after her very first ride on Magnum XL-200.  I told her that I rode that coaster in 1989 two years before Sissy (24 year old big sister Kelsey) was born.  Her retort: “Yeah you didn’t ride it sooner because Grandma wouldn’t LET you!”

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Pasta Dress

Words of Wisdom from an 8 year old while looking at possible First Communion dress options: “I can’t wear that anyway because it has noodle straps.”

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Sweet Pea

Words of Wisdom from an 8 year old after her mom called her a sweet pea: “When you say ‘sweet pea’ are you calling me a vegetable?”

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Root Flavors

Words of Wisdom from an 8 year old at dinner last night. Mommy had root beer to drink which the 8 year old had never had to drink before. The 8 year old asked if it was good, but was very reluctant to taste it from a teaspoon when offered.  After much coaxing she finally licked the spoon, smiled, and said: “Oh!  It actually tastes just like root beer suckers!”

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